Sex and intimacy when you have a lung condition

It’s not always easy to talk about sex, even to someone you’re intimate with. But it’s important they know about anything you’re finding difficult. Maybe you find it difficult to manage your breathlessness or don’t feel comfortable or safe in certain sex positions.  

Let your partner know what works well for you too. This could include the sex positions you prefer, or when you like to have sex.  
You could say:

• Can we try out new positions that might help my breathlessness?
• I feel too tired to have sex tonight, could we cuddle instead?
• I need to take regular breaks while we’re having sex. 

Brook has more information about how to talk to your partner about sex. 

Just like other physical activity, sex can make symptoms worse for some people. There are lots of things you can do to make sure sex is safe and enjoyable and to lower your risk of symptoms during sex.

Keep managing your lung condition 

Your treatments, medicines and inhalers help keep your symptoms under control. If your lung condition is managed well, and your symptoms are under control, you’ll be much less likely to experience symptoms during sex.

Find out more about managing your lung condition if you have: 

• asthma
• COPD
• bronchiectasis
• pulmonary fibrosis.

If you smoke, the best thing you can do for your health is to quit. It can help your breathing, give you more energy and has lots of other benefits. We have more information to help you quit smoking.

Try breathing techniques to help breathlessness

It’s normal to get out of breath when you’re active, including during sex. If breathlessness is stopping you enjoying sex, or putting you off having sex at all, we have advice and videos about managing your breathlessness. These include breathing techniques and positions to help you recover from breathlessness. You can use these breathing techniques during sex if you need to.

Stay active

When you exercise regularly, the muscles around your lungs and the rest of your body get stronger. As you build strength, your muscles will need less oxygen to work too, meaning you will get less breathless while being active.

Sex is a type of physical activity. So building up your activity levels over time can help your breathing while you’re having sex. 

We have lots of advice about how to stay active, including our Keep Active programme designed for people with lung conditions, which helps you to get active at a pace that suits you. 

Be aware of triggers where you have sex

It’s worth thinking about where you have sex, and what things might set off your symptoms.

This can include triggers like dust, smoke and heavy fragrances. Find out more about how to improve the air quality in your home. 

Think about when you have sex

If you can, plan any sexual activity so that you’re having sex when you feel your best. For example, you and your partner could have sex in the morning if your symptoms are worse at night.

Try using sex toys 

You may find that using a vibrator or massager may be a good way to pleasure a partner without using too much energy.

Talk to your partner about trying different positions that feel right for both of you. 

If you get breathless during sex, it can help to avoid: 

• lying completely flat on your back
• putting pressure or weight on your chest
• anything that requires you to use your mouth for a long time
• positions that use a lot of energy, for example being on top and holding yourself up by your arms for a long time.

Here are some positions that you could try:

Inhalers

Using a steroid inhaler or taking steroids through a nebuliser can sometimes cause oral thrush. Oral thrush can make your mouth feel uncomfortable, which might affect your intimate relationships.

You can reduce your risk of oral thrush by:  

• gargling, rinsing or spitting after using your inhaler
• using a spacer with a metered dose inhaler (MDI)
• using good inhaler technique – watch our quick inhaler videos to find out more. 

Oxygen

It’s safe to have sex while using oxygen at home. Ask your respiratory team if you need to use a higher oxygen setting for activity.

If you use oxygen at home you should not use any oil-based products, including lubricants. You can use lubricants that are water-based or silicone-based instead.

Get more advice about home oxygen therapy. 

Antidepressants

Antidepressants can cause: 

• a low sex drive
• finding it difficult to orgasm
• finding it hard to get or keep an erection.  

If you’re taking antidepressants and you’ve noticed they’re affecting your sex life, talk to your GP or other healthcare professional. 

We have advice about looking after your mental health with a lung condition. 

Antibiotics

Antibiotics can cause genital thrush. This is also called a yeast infection. Thrush can be spread through sex, but this is uncommon. It’s still best to avoid sex until thrush has gone, as it can make sex uncomfortable.

Cancer treatments 

Treatments for lung cancer, mesothelioma and other types of cancer can lower your sex drive. Cancer Research UK has more information about sex and cancer.  

Contraception 

If you or someone in your family has suffered from blood clots, like pulmonary embolism, the combined pill might not be right for you. Your healthcare professional should talk to you about any risks and other options that could work for you.

If you have asthma, you’re more likely to be allergic to a material called latex. Latex is often used to make condoms. You can stay safe by using latex-free condoms instead. Find out how to get them for free on the NHS. 

Steroids

If you’ve been taking steroid tablets for a long time, you might get side effects. Side effects like ‘moon face’, weight gain, or mood changes might impact your confidence.

We have more advice about managing the side effects of steroid tablets.