Running this marathon is about more than the distance - it's about facing fear

I’ve had asthma my whole life and I’ve always carried a blue inhaler around with me. I’d never had an asthma attack before but my trigger was always hay fever so my breathing got worse in summer.

I'd never been properly taught about my asthma

The day I had the asthma attack, I’d been feeling wheezy throughout the day but I just put it down to it being that time of year. At around 6.30am in the morning, I woke my wife up and decided to get fresh air because I was really struggling to breathe.

But I started to feel light headed and couldn't get much breath at all. I was really dizzy and I could feel myself slipping out of consciousness. The last thing I remember was an ambulance coming down the driveway. My heart stopped for four minutes and they performed CPR.

I learned so much about asthma through the experience

The doctors were absolutely incredible and I learned more about asthma in those few days in the hospital than I ever had before. I realised I’d never properly been taught about the severity of the condition and how it could be controlled. I’d relied on my reliever inhaler and wasn’t using anything preventative. It was such a simple fix - just a puff of an inhaler every night and every morning, could have prevented this from happening.

I got stronger physically but my fear held me back

When I eventually started running again, it wasn’t straightforward. Even as my body got stronger, my mind held me back. I reached a point where I physically could go further but mentally, the fear of becoming breathless wouldn’t let me push past it. Every hard breath reminded me of what I’d been through.

As time has gone on, the anxiety has lessened and I’m feeling fitter than I did 10 years ago when I was mis-managing my asthma and being over prescribed the reliever inhaler.

Now I'm facing my fear head on and not letting asthma limit me

Running this marathon almost five years on is about more than the distance. It’s about facing that fear head-on and proving to myself and to anyone living with asthma that it doesn’t have to define or limit what you can or can’t do. It’s taken years to get to this point, and every mile represents resilience, recovery, and determination. My asthma will never really go away but as long as I'm keeping control of it and managing it, I should be okay. I am sticking to my running plan for the marathon and I am feeling good. I'm out running three or four times a week so I hope that I'll be ready for the marathon in May.