I wish mum had felt able to ask for help sooner, and to feel less alone

Just before Christmas our dear mum, Jennie, passed away after a severe and sudden exacerbation of COPD. She had smoked since her twenties and, like many people, tried a number of times over the years to stop. In hindsight, we wonder if she carried a sense of self-blame about her illness, which may have contributed to how quietly she coped with it.

Jennie didn’t always share how much she was struggling, and looking back, we wish she had felt able to reach out for support earlier and to feel less alone with what she was carrying.

We never thought we’d have such little time to say goodbye

What has also been a huge shock to us as a family is how quickly things changed. We assumed COPD would involve a slow, gradual decline over many years, with repeated hospital stays and eventually the need for long-term oxygen. We never imagined that her first hospital admission would also be the one that took her life. From seeming relatively stable to becoming critically unwell happened in a matter of days, and we had very little time to say goodbye.

It would mean a lot if even one person feels able to seek help earlier

When we first learned about her diagnosis, we tried to understand the condition, but we didn’t realise just how rapidly a severe exacerbation could become life-threatening. That lack of awareness has stayed with us.

Raising money in Jennie’s memory feels like a way to honour her, but also to help others feel less ashamed, more informed, and more supported. If even one person feels encouraged to speak openly about their illness or seek help earlier, that would mean a great deal to us.

If you need any support or advice on yours or your loved one's lung condition, our friendly helpline team are here for you. No question is too small for us. We'll give you as much time as you need to talk about what's important to you.